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Written by Danielle
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Sunday, 14 June 2009 07:59 |
Welcome to the web home of House dv8. This site is under construction. It is both sad and full of hope. This site is the last major effort Master made to guide me along my path before the accident that caused his death. It is a tribute to him. Hopefully, in time, it will reflect a journey he can be proud of.
Once upon a time, not that long ago, i was living my personal fantasy. i was a well used sex slave to a extremely sadistic Master with an insatiable libido. He used and abused me every single day, but more importantly, he loved, cherished, and Owned me so completely and with such a high level of responsibility and protection that i had no doubt i was, in all ways possible, protected, safe, and secure. I was happy. I was healthy. I thrived as his slave and no matter how much he asked of me --- and he asked a lot --- i was glad to give it and filled with gratitude for everything i received in return. One of the greatest gifts Daddy gave me was to help me learn to greet this world from a place of love and gratitude. I am so grateful that i am a writer and an exhibitionist because now i have the blogs i wrote during those 4 1/2 years of blissful slavery. It has been an emotional few days. The anniversary of his death is upon me. Last Father's Day i was in the hospital with his two grown daughters watching him die. Reading through those blogs, remembering how much Master loved me and how happy he was to Own me, has helped me. I know i was a good girl and i know he was proud of me. I hope i can continue to live up to his high expectations.
Now, everything is totally different and my footing is insecure. I am broken in ways i do not know how to fix.
The only thing i know to do is to continue down the path Master had planned for me.
At first, that meant just keeping the balls in the air. I could not bring myself to look to the future. I am still only able to do that in the narrowest of senses. For many months after Daddy's death I put as much as possible on hold, and stayed as busy as possible doing only what was totally necessary. I kept distracted and busy.
This site, and many other things, just were not a priority. I had to stay super distracted and sitting at a computer was not enough stimulation for me to keep from sinking into darkness. Any time i was idle, i was a wreck.
Then, stuff happened. I fell in love at first site with Kimberly. Her willingness to love me even though i am so completely broken made me want to help her with her dreams. I wanted to, but i was still procrastinating. I was making plans in my head, and starting to worry about all the things i had put on hold, but it was overwhelming and i lacked motivation.
Stuff happened again. I read a book written by a man i cherish and had been intimate with in a physical sense but more importantly had been vulnerable and exposed with and left feeling deep gratitude for the comfort and caring he expressed. I have never done that before. I have read books by people i have met, like Dossie Easton, and Fifth Angel, but i had never read a book written by someone who's cock had been inside me, or whom i felt so strongly about.
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Last Updated ( Tuesday, 18 August 2009 08:39 )
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